Think.
full archivesI think a lot—some say too much. Behold the results… a collection of my random, scattered thoughts. Pardon the dust, I'm tinkering with the layout in my spare time.
Posted on Thursday, 13 May 2010
I have a horrible guilty pleasure: those pudding pies you usually see at truck stops, gas stations and (unfortunately) Safeway. As a kid, especially, I was keen on making sure my snack on road trips would be a chocolate pudding pie, usually, if memory serves, purchased at the Flying-J in Snowville, UT.
I recall losing my shit when TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLE pies (see above) came out. Of course, I was caught up in watching our heros in a half-shell, like every kid my age, and this was a whole new level of bliss. I mean, VANILLA PUDDING pies with a GREEN COATING OF SUGAR AND CARNUBA WAX?! You bet your ass I loved it, Skippy!
When I moved to Seattle a few years ago, I recall one of my first few trips to a Safeway by my work. I was new to the city, so I’d sooner shop at the only familiar place than explore and end up in the wrong part of town (or worse, at a Red Apple). I had just left my then-girlfriend (now soon to be wife) behind in Utah, and I needed cheering up, so I trolled the sweets. Nothing struck me, so I headed for baked goods, when I saw a rack of the iconic fruit-filled pies. During my childhood I noticed that the choco-pies were vanishing, yet the horrid jammy pies remained. I figured this was the same deal, until I noticed one of the wrappers.
It was brown.
I grabbed the prefab gluttony, threw wads of cash at the checkout chick and ran home. I popped a Dr Pepper (guilt pleasure numero dos) and giddily tore into the chocolate pie.
It was terrible. Needless to say, my fond memories of pudding smiles gasped for air, so much was the vacuum of joy. I still long for them, but every time I give in (always, it seems, at a Safeway), my mouth is filled with vile brown sludge.
While we’re on the topic of shudder-inducing food items purported to be of a chocolate flavour, my dear future-wife stumbled on an ad for Pudding Roll-Ups. I won’t go into it much, but I can smell and taste them now, just by mention. It’s a terrifying recollection. I’ll probably have nightmares about them tonight.
